save the earth, it’s the only planet with chocolate and pizza
science fact: If you close your eyes, you won’t be able to see.
Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?
FACT OF THE DAY: the dc in washington dc originally stood for “da capital” but abraham lincoln thought it was unprofessional and changed it
i speak four languages and they’re called horny sad hungry and annoying
- person: wow you drink so much water, you're so healthy!!
- me: i cry so much i gotta stay hydrated
OH MY GOD
and, if you can’t get toasted pearl Couscous handpicked and blessed by a Moroccan shaman on the first tuesday of the winter harvest for your Sautéed Escarole then store bought is fine
when you drink the water and the tummy go sploosh sploosh
This post had me at finger pants.
I like all of these so much better than the actual words
"Softness is not weakness.
It takes courage to stay delicate
in a world this cruel."
bruh. game over. she’s marrying that guy and having really talented artistic babies.