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sorry:

save the earth, it’s the only planet with chocolate and pizza

sorry:

science fact: If you close your eyes, you won’t be able to see.

sorry:

Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?

officialunitedstates:

FACT OF THE DAY: the dc in washington dc originally stood for “da capital” but abraham lincoln thought it was unprofessional and changed it

lunchboxgod:

i speak four languages and they’re called horny sad hungry and annoying

  • person: wow you drink so much water, you're so healthy!!
  • me: i cry so much i gotta stay hydrated
asian:

OH MY GOD

asian:

OH MY GOD

gorlt:

and, if you can’t get toasted pearl Couscous handpicked and blessed by a Moroccan shaman on the first tuesday of the winter harvest for your Sautéed Escarole then store bought is fine

image

theimpolitecanadian:

when you drink the water and the tummy go sploosh sploosh

gracewillhazeyou:

fishcustardandthecumberbeast:

overdosed-on-apathy:

This post had me at finger pants.

HORSE TORNADO.

I like all of these so much better than the actual words

"Softness is not weakness.
It takes courage to stay delicate
in a world this cruel.
"

- Beau Taplin || Shed your sharp edges. 
(via afadthatlastsforever)
can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

pastperspectives:

guys… it’s a palm tree.

NO

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

pastperspectives:

guys… it’s a palm tree.

NO

rlmjob:

pizza:

rlmjob:

I just want pizza

everyone wants a slice of me

image

hamburgerprince:

bruh. game over. she’s marrying that guy and having really talented artistic babies.

hamburgerprince:

bruh. game over. she’s marrying that guy and having really talented artistic babies.